Wednesday, 3 April 2013

(an excuse of a) Film Review: The Host

Are you sitting down? I hope you are because I'm going to do something radical right now. I've decided to dip my toe into murky waters of entertainment and blow your minds with a film review. YES, AN ACTUAL FILM REVIEW. Mind blown? Thought so. 
Except when I say 'review', I don't mean an actual 'review'. The word 'review' denotes something I consider to be vaguely trustworthy and comes from someone who might know what they're talking about. I do not. Just so we're clear on that. So this is more movie-themed thought-vomit (to almost quote Mean Girls) than a review.

Now we've got what the word 'review' means out of the way let us begin: The Host. I am a person who is guilty of enjoying Stephenie Meyer's books... Although at university I was made to feel like the scum of the earth because of this fact. I actually did a module called 'Creatures of the Night: Vampires in Film and Literature' which I was massively excited about because one of the books we studied was Twilight. Unfortunately for me, the other people in my seminar weren't so enthusiastic about glittery, vegetarian vampires and when I sheepishly admitted to "sort of liking it" I received a massive bollocking (if you'll excuse the turn of phrase) from the hardcore literature students who actually read things like 'The Odyssey' for fun. FOR FUN. Eurgh.

As such, I read 'The Host' as soon as it came out and I LURRVED it. If you aren't a Meyer enthusiast such as myself let me give you a very brief plot summary:
Earth is invaded by aliens who take over bodies of humans. One human fights the alien that is occupying her body by communicating to the alien through her thoughts.
Okay, that was a crap plot summary. Essentially what you need to know is that there are two people in one body. This works very well in written form. It does not, however, translate very well on to the big screen.

Saorise Ronan is basically playing two characters who look and sound exactly the same. It's an odd experience. What makes this all-the-more confusing is the weird love triangle... square... thing that is going on. Melanie (Saorise Ronan, the human) is in love with Jared (Max Irons) who she met before an alien was occupying her body. Whereas Wanderer (Saorise Ronan, the alien) falls in love with Ian (Jake Abel) whilst she is Melanie's body which upsets Melanie because Melanie doesn't want to kiss Ian, she wants to kiss Jared. Except she doesn't want to kiss Jared because that'd be Wanderer kissing Jared, not her. All in all, a lot of kissing goes on and I'm not too sure who's happy about what. OH GOD I'M SO CONFUSED.

Basically, don't go and see this film if you haven't read the book. You'll just be confused and disturbed. If you have read the book, don't go and see this film as you'll probably be just as confused and disturbed. However, if you enjoy watching car-crash entertainment as a hobby GO AND SEE THIS FILM. 

Anyone seen 'The Host'? Thoughts?


  1. I loved this review. I'd been meaning to read it since it came out, but never got around to it. I loved the Twilight books, I even read the first one in a day I loved it that much! The films have all been rather disappointing.
    I think this review was helpful, and entertaining. You made me smile anyway, you should do more film reviews!


    1. Ha ha, thank you! Definitely read The Host. It's just as addictive as the Twilight books once you get a few chapters in and get your head around the whole aliens in your body thing. Avoid the film like the plague though until you've read the book because the movie doesn't do the book justice at all! xxx


  2. Lovely blog! :) I'm an oddball in that I really didn't like twilight (I think I just like my vampires scary and bloodthirsty) but really enjoyed the host and I agree, the film was a car crash and really lacked the strength and depth of Meyer's work (oops sounding like the literature student I am there) xx

    Bella | BELLAETC

  3. This review made me laugh out loud! I love your writing - it's seriously a pleasure to read :-) I have read The Host - but I'm not sure about going to see the movie..